I am beginning to realise that it's not about me

It's your grace, not my works that set me free

I'm beginning to trust in the grace that I can't see

And it's more than touch and sight to believe

So I will choose another day to step out on the platform of your grace

And I won't be afraid of the mess I might make

Cause Jesus you're bigger than my mistakes

I've been the champion of screwing things up

Taking what's right and making them all wrong

This I know with all my heart,

I can't earn it, I know I don't deserve it.

Awake desire within me,

Open my eyes so I can see.

Without your love I can't even breathe.

Jesus your grace has set me free.

Way back in 1992 I wrote some poems about my siblings and recently found them.

Timothy

T is for Timothy an older brother of mine, And it's also to him I dedicate this rhyme.

I is for intelligent, of Tim it's certainly true; Accounting, sport and music are a few things he can do.

M is for manly, "He's growing up so fast"; They said when he was three years old "But let's hope it will last."

O is for options, Tim has only two and he knows; What's more, only Tim can choose the one on which he goes.

T is for trouble, Tim experienced his share; Cars, family, motorbikes, soccer - and herding goats for Mr Blair.

I wrote this psalm on December 7 while at

Victoria Falls, Livingstone, Zambia.

I had recently been white-water rafting on the Zambezi. 

God You are Sovereign.

You created the amazing waterfalls that thunder.

The people that live here and all the animals.

The rich and the poor You made.

God, I don’t understand You or Your justice.

But I know You are just – the judge of all the earth will do right.

So God, I see my problem before me.

It looms up big like a dark cloud –

Like an overwhelming obstacle that will swallow me and consume me.

The heart and the mind want to divide

Why can't they just live side by side?

I see what I see and love what I know

I think I know where I want to go.

But alone at night as I sit and ponder

My heart and my mind begin to wander.

One travels around the world and back

While the rest of me feels out of whack.

And then it hits me in the head

Lying there upon my bed

"Why are you trying on your own

When you placed Me upon the throne?

I am here to sort it out

So what is all this worry about?"

I did nothing – and You saved me
Such a simple lesson to learn
Yet all my life I try to earn
Your favour

I try good works – my righteous acts
You know the truth – You know the facts
My life is dead – it stinks – it’s rotten
Man’s righteousness has never gotten
Your favour

Again I need to learn this lesson
I can do nothing for Your blessing
So to Your throne of grace I go
You choose on whom You will bestow
Your favour

The devil accuses me of sin
I have no plea to answer him
Nothing I can do will save me
But God through Christ has placed upon me
His favour

Now I stand in Christ alone
Every day before His throne
Still nothing I do has any merit
Christ’s righteousness God gave as credit
O mighty favour

Spirit lead – I can do nothing
But submit, thank, praise and listen
Dead to sin alive to Christ
Help me live through Him who paid my price
and receive His favour

Down the track
Through the trees
Think I’ll do eight today
Left at the top of the steps
Gee everyone is slow
Wonder if Sasha likes Natasha
They look pretty chummy
Left at the brick shed
So far so good
Head full of nothing
Mind the broken glass
Left at the bottom of the drive
Grab a leaf off the tree
Why do I do this?
I’m just running around

Man is talking
Mind is walking
When will this come to an end?
So I can talk to my friend
I did ask God to hear Him speak
But concentration now is weak
Really really hot in here
Mobile phone sounds fill the air
Why are we all sitting here?

Formal teaching can be dry
So I ask the question why?
Is it me or is it him?
(That translator is not slim!)
Why can thoughts so easily roam?
What’re the boys doing back at home?
People round me so distracting
Who is listening - who is acting?
Those things there – how much did they cost?
And the MP3 player that I lost

Man still talking on the stage
To these people in this cage
I hope their thoughts are not like mine
You can always find me on line
But how do you know what is real?
Can you trust the things you feel?

That silent force
Buzzing through the overhead wires
Encircling the house
Penetrating the walls
Stopping
Waiting
Needs connecting
And silently starts working

Do you see it?
Do you think about it?
Do you know that it affects your day?

But blindly you press on – unaware
Until it’s gone – taken from you
And you cry out
You cry out
How can I live without you!

Another force
Sent from above
Like a rushing wind
Like a still small voice
Convicting
Comforting
Waiting
Needs connecting

Do you know Him?
Do you think about Him?
Do you allow Him to affect your day?

But you blindly press on – unaware
Until life is gone – taken from you
And you cry out
You cry out
Why did I live without you!

Silently standing
Motionless standing
Helpless standing
Side by side
One upon another
Strong, sturdy, helpless, silent

We wanted to act - but we could not
We wanted to scream out - but this was impossible
We know the truth
We saw the truth
Yet the truth remains hidden with us

We didn't understand
And still we do not understand
We are all the same more or less
Some have different functions - some are more prominent
But more or less all the same

So are they - more or less all the same
So why?
We don't know

But we know they fell
Their blood - stains
The smell of their burning flesh - abides The stench of the squalor in which they lived - remains
And if you listen carefully - their helpless, pitiful cries for mercy continue to echo off us

We were helpless
We were silent
We are bricks

On a train
In the rain
Feel the pain
Thoughts swirling
Ideas unfurling
But never reach their destination
Captive of my imagination
Cannot sleep
Cannot read
Cannot plan the things I need
Want to plan for peace and joy
I feel I’m the devil’s toy
In a game of luck and dice
And yet I know he paid the price
Free Indeed, Free Indeed
I Praise God I'm Free Indeed!